Terwijl storm Ciara over ons land raasde en de glaspuien van ons appartement angstig flink tekeer gingen lag ik als een stil muisje op de bank. Ik was doodmoe. Een kleine wandeling door het appartement deed mij al bijna in elkaar storten. Ik ben mezelf niet. Ik voelde me zo slap als een vaatdoek. Mijn HB-waarde in mijn bloed was weer eens gedaald naar bijna 5. Gelukkig mocht ik afgelopen woensdag weer bloed ‘tanken’ bij het Erasmus en voelde me gelijk weer een stuk beter. ’s Avonds kwamen mijn oude vrienden Hans & Menno langs om bij te kletsen. Was mooi.
Afgelopen vrijdag 14 februari was de ‘Grote Dag’, de lancering van het kinderboekje voor KiKa. Meer dan 100 mensen verzamelden zich in Rotterdam om erbij te zijn. Het was een mooie, bijzondere, emotionele rollercoaster op de verjaardag van Maarten, die vier maanden geleden veel te jong aan kanker overleed. Een mooi eerbetoon en daarbij een gaaf boekje. En nu al meer dan € 12.000 opgehaald voor KiKa. Heerlijk toch.
Zaterdag moest ik een dag flink bijkomen van de drukte en lag weer eens uren op de bank. Soms wil je heel veel doen, maar dan lukt het eigenlijk niet. Het kost mij moeite om me ‘over te geven’ aan de grillen van mijn lijf, maar ik zal het moeten leren. Ik probeer een nieuw levenstempo te vinden, zodat ik veel rustig aan doe en soms even een energie-piek omhoog heb. De komende tijd zal leren wat wijsheid is. Deze week staat er een CT-scan op het programma, zodat ik te horen krijg of zes chemo’s ook effect hebben gehad op de kanker in mijn lijf. Fingers crossed.
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